where it all began - Alec & Tiffany pursuing Embryo Adoption

 Long story short: We have always planned on having kids of our own. This is something we knew from our first date. While we did anticipate there may be some trouble with pregnancies due to medical history, we did not anticipate Alec being diagnosed with azoospermia (a complete lack of sperm). In September 2022, fertility specialists encouraged us to consider sperm donation/IVF, adoption, foster care, or embryo adoption. After much research, prayer, and considering our options, we have decided to move forward with embryo adoption through Embryo Connections. The embryo donation process, from application to pregnancy, is projected to cost $13,000.

If you would like to support us in this journey, we would love your prayers, financial gifts, and continued engagement. Read on for the full story!

About Us

Alec likes to share the story of our first date with several different memories emphasized than when Tiffany tells it. He shares that as we were swinging under the lamp posts at the Portland Waldorf School in Milwaukie after our brain freezes from froyo had subsided, Tiffany cut right to the chase. After we had shared our life stories (as much story as we had at 17 years old), Tiffany said, ‘I want to have kids. Obviously not anytime soon, but this is a non-negotiable for me, and I feel called to be a mom one day.’ Honestly, Tiffany has no recollection of this part of the evening (possibly due to the embarrassment and the discomfort of imagining saying this on OUR FIRST DATE), but Alec remembers it fondly. He remembers replying with a charming smile, maybe a slight eye roll and a simple ‘okay.’

Nearly ten years later, we are eager and ready to grow our family. These years together have been filled with a long-distance relationship, college degrees, healing from past traumas, marriage, apartment living in downtown Portland, new jobs, getting our first pet (cat, Meredith), building a tiny house, traveling, living tiny, a pandemic, pregnancy loss, and adding in our beloved pup (Winston). Those are just the highlights.

While 17-year-old Tiffany was so mindful and certain about having children, she could not have known how complicated it would be when the time came.

Another aspect that complicates the emotional process is that we have seemingly dedicated our lives to supporting kids and families. Alec is an Elementary Music Educator and runs a youth theatre organization. Tiffany is a lactation consultant/doula who is currently working for WIC as a Nutrition Counselor. These jobs include the passion of our hearts, but this past year these jobs have been difficult in the face of infertility and grieving the loss of what was anticipated.

This Last Year

We did anticipate there may be some trouble with pregnancies due to Tiffany’s medical history, a complicated infection she contracted while living in West Africa in 2013.

After trying for 6 months, doctors recommended a full work up of both of us. We have reflected that before going in for these tests, our focus (and the focus of the doctors) was really on “what is wrong with Tiffany” as society often has the narrative of fertility problems being a female problem.

Because of this, we did not anticipate Alec being diagnosed with azoospermia (a complete lack of sperm) in February 2022. This was emotionally devastating for us. We have grieved the loss of what we thought the process would be like, and we continue to grieve loss while still holding hope and joy for the future.

In June 2022 we got connected with Oregon Reproductive Medicine (ORM), as our first step in learning more about what is next on our fertility journey. We have Kaiser as our primary medical provider, but unfortunately Kaiser does not cover/provide any fertility treatment and does not even cover tests that are related to figuring out fertility issues (sperm analysis, testosterone tests, etc. are all out of pocket). ORM first had us on the IVF track, pending doctors being able to find SOME sperm in Alec. ORM then connected Alec with OHSU fertility for those next steps.

From June 2022 through September 2022 OHSU Fertility had Alec on various medications that sometimes support increases in sperm counts. After another sperm analysis in Oct. 2022, the tests came back still showing zero sperm. Fertility specialists encouraged us to consider sperm donation for use in IVF, but also said that adoption/foster care and embryo adoption were also options.

After doing research on the sperm donation industry and mulling over the IVF costs, we decided to move away from those options. We have always wanted to do foster care and/or adoption, but living in a tiny house just does not support this as an option right now. We certainly hope to revisit foster/adoption as an option in the future.

Moving Forward

This is where things get kind of wild. We are moving forward with embryo adoption!

When folks undergo IVF (In Vitro Fertilization), they often have more embryos remaining once they feel their family is complete. These folks have several options - they can keep these embryos frozen indefinitely, they can donate them to science, have them discarded, or they can donate them to a family in need.

This incredibly unique adoption process allows Tiffany to carry, birth and hopefully nurse their completely adoptive child. This little embryo won’t have DNA from either of us and they will know from the beginning the incredibly unique way they came to be a member of the Martinez family. We aren’t sure yet how connected we will be with our little embryo’s first parents, but an important part of the process for us is to make sure that our future child has the opportunity to know them whenever they are ready (not just later in life, etc.) and to make sure there is open communication between them (embryo donors) and us (embryo recipients).

We have done quite a bit of research and have selected Embryo Connections as the organization we will partner with during this process. Embryo Connections is a fertility ‘concierge’ of sorts; they walk you through the complete process of embryo adoption (reviewing profiles, facilitating connections, supporting with legal paperwork, organizing embryo transport, etc.)

The embryo donation process, from application to pregnancy, is projected to cost $13,000. Unfortunately, our insurance (Kaiser) does not cover any fertility treatments, so everything is out of pocket.

How You Can Support

The community can help in three main ways - Prayer, Financial, Engagement

Prayer:

Prayer for peace and patience through the process.

Prayer for trust and discernment.

Prayer for financial means.

Prayer for the embryo(s) that awaits us.

Financially Give: Truly any amount helps!

Engagement: Share the GoFundMe, be on the lookout for fundraisers, etc.