oh we're (over) half way there!

It is wild to me that we are already 25 weeks along - more than halfway to this little one’s birth-day. I thought I would sit down and share some thoughts, highlights and happenings that have popped up over these past weeks. We have kept you in the loop this far, so it feels only fair to give a bit of an update! 

Weeks 10 - 18 - This was the season of nausea and feeling overall pretty crummy. The sight, smell or even discussion of food was very complicated. 

Add in the new hormones rushing through my body at all time high levels and it led to many meals with tears and feeling so badly about not finishing a meal that Alec worked so hard on. 

One visit to our favorite local Mexican restaurant ended very poorly and it took a few weeks before I was brave enough to visit again.

Weeks 18 - 25 - These weeks were filled with much needed nausea relief and the first few wiggles from Baby! Up to this point, I struggled quite a bit with feeling like an imposter. Like I was playing pretend. Other than feeling yucky, I didn’t really feel pregnant. I just had to trust that the little gummy bear inside me was growing and doing well. I also struggled with attachment in those first weeks. I was SO thankful for this beautiful, sticky little baby. I was SO thankful that our donors chose us. The hang up came with the trauma response of ‘waiting for the other foot to drop’. In other words, things have been really hard and really scary for so long, I didn’t want to get too connected to this little one just in case something went awry. 

So, for most of the first trimester, I referred to the baby by whatever fruit they were that week. “Little avocado is doing well!” I would report. Or “The doctor says that our little apple is looking good!” Most thought it was sweet and endearing, but my husband and counselor both saw right through me. They each helped me in their own ways to embrace that I can be excited, joyful, and grateful while also being scared shitless - that’s parenthood after all! So, I began the homework of talking to our baby and connecting with them. I still kind of feel like Dora the Explorer or Elmo. I am talking in a happy voice with no reply. Haha!

The weekly fruit became the sweet way to relate to them rather than the flimsy olive branch I perched on previously. I began saying “Baby is wiggling!” and “Alec, our baby loves orange juice. They are dancing in there!”  I continue to pray every night for the little one growing and dancing in my womb. And I continue to hold space for the gratitude AND complexity of how motherhood has found me.

Another way I found connection with this beautiful little one is by visiting Puerto Rico. Baby Martinez is part Puerto Rican so we decided to take our Babymoon there to learn a little about the beautiful island and rich history that helped our baby come to be. We reached out to our donors and they gave us tips for our itinerary; where to eat, what beaches to visit and the best coffee we will ever drink. We went to Puerto Rico in the sweet spot of the second trimester - no longer nauseous or vomiting and getting through most days without needing a nap! As we drove around the island, I felt as though different sights and spaces were like fingerprints being revealed of where our little one’s elders had gone before them. We got to share part of our time in Puerto Rico with Alec’s parents which was so special. Getting to spend time with them and hang out as adults on vacation was such a blast! And I think they equally enjoyed gathering up memories and stories they will get to share with their grandchild.

As we were traveling home, I shared some photos with our donors and thanked them for the tips. One of the landmarks we stopped at they hadn’t recommended but asked how we found our way to it. Alec had stumbled upon it on a blog and one of our AirBnB hosts confirmed it was worth a slight detour. Our donors replied letting us know that our baby has genetic family that still lives 10 minutes just up the road from the landmark. Fingerprints.

*This photo marked the halfway point of pregnancy with Baby Martinez! They went from being a small mango to a banana, so fruit salad was the perfect breakfast that morning!

*So many sweaty taco dinners and adventures with these three. We probably asked for that water pitcher to be refilled at least three times!

*I love learning about and loving on animals - especially the ones that have had a rough go of it. We got to go to a manatee conservation that rehabilitates these big, beautiful creatures and sends them back out to the ocean. This giant goof was blowing bubbles at us and making silly sounds. They don't teach them tricks, they are just naturally curious and silly!

*As we were exploring the Pork Highway (fun fact- this Baby doesn't enjoy pork. I had chicken for lunch haha!) we saw the perfect souvenir just across the highway. I made the entire transaction in Spanish (go me!) and we sent this little snapshot to our donors.

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Last week we hit the very exciting milestone of 24 weeks - viability! This means that if our little one needed to make an early entrance, they would have a fighting chance at survival outside the womb. While we are SO thankful and celebrate we have made it this far with a very boring pregnancy, we are praying to make it much closer to 40 weeks and have kindly reminded Baby Martinez they need to cook longer. We did celebrate this milestone by going back to the very spot we got the news that the lucky little embryo stuck back in early April. From a tiny little embryo just several cells big to a baby that had hope to survive earthside. So wild! 

*This place not only holds some very significant memories but it also holds the best gluten free fish in chips on the Oregon Coast. You're welcome.

Alec has been wrapping up his summer break by making the coziest nursery that has already started filling up with well loved hand me downs from dear friends. I am so glad this guy enjoys painting - it is not my gifting!

This fall will bring several baby shower celebrations and we already feel overwhelmed by the love, care and generosity that has been poured out on us. Our baby (who happens to be the size of a stack of pancakes this week!) is already so loved and might have a hard time comprehending just how many honorary Tìas and Tìos they have all over the world!

For our church community, a celebration will be held on October 19th and for the Imagine community, there will be a celebration on November 2nd. 

If you can’t make it to one of the celebrations and/or want to send love from afar, we are so thankful! Here are a couple of links to guide you:

Diaper Registry: https://www.amazon.com/baby-reg/tiffany-martinez-december-2024-milwaukie/39UJZ30VEFWFY

*We are doing cloth diapers a majority of the time, but would love some disposable diapers on hand for those days/nights where we need something a little simpler for ourselves or for gracious helpers.

Gift Registry: https://my.babylist.com/baby-registry-martinez-fam 

So, that’s the scoop! I am currently reclined on the couch, feeling this little baby wiggle and stretch inside me and that will never not surprise me. Sometimes it's pure gratitude and sometimes just simply hormones, but I find myself getting teary eyed several times a week as I think about the journey both this baby and I have traveled to get to where we are; reclined on the couch together.

And in the midst of ever changing legislation and threat to reproductive health care all over the United States, I get teary eyed once again; with both gratitude and rage. Gratitude to live in Oregon and have our other two embryos safely frozen at our clinic. And rage on behalf of the families trapped in limbo or completely denied the care they need due to misguided and uninformed opinions that turn into laws by out of touch people in power. Christ, have mercy.

Stay tuned in the coming weeks. I hope and pray things remain uneventful, but I am sure I will have thoughts and wonderings to pour out as I near my birthing time in December.

Grace & Peace,

Tiffany and Baby Martinez